READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
