last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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