i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
