I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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