help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
