Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
