Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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