i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
