I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
