so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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