Sponge bath it is.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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