DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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