Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
