When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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