he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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