Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
