All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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