So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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