took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
