guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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