Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There r osticjed everywhere
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
