"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
