White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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