toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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