Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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