The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize