things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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