Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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