How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
