I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this just has baby written all over it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
