K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
