are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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