So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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