Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
