so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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