Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
