Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
