oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
