that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
