I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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