Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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