how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
