I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
