Dual....:-)
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
