your parents love me but you hate me
We won't sleep together?
She said her name was "party"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
