Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
