I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got inside last night via doggy door
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
