How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
