i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
