I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
