so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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