lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
