why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
