and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
