I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
