if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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