We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
