Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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