& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
