her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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