Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
