Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
